I knew it was risky hash, but I no idea how risky it could be till somebody turned up dead.

It was a day like any other at this tired old gin joint named Flicka's, run by a guy who would rather cut off your nose than look at ya. The car fumes from the people trying to get home to their families mingled with the smell of cigarettes that you couldn't smoke anymore. Then she walked in. A dame sure, but this one went by the name of Mother Pucker and all 5' of her was ready to run.

"Is it just you?" She asked, sizing me up and not being too impressed. Sure, I was alone here, but I knew others would come, and soon. And they did. One by one they staggered in. These weren't your regular joes. Around here, everybody's got an alias. First there was WD30 fresh from the joint. They say she offed more people in the can then she did out.
Spongeworthy and Inspect Her Gadget showed up, the stink of the midget-wrestling drug trade still on them. Then IKOG and Pink came from different directions like they had arrived separately, sure, and I'm a fairy princess. Well I do have the outfit...just don't get much time to wear it these days. They all come to me because I have what they want. I make them pay for it too. Hell they would have done anything I wanted just for a little hump d'.

Pucker lived up to her name all right. Hitting a bottle of the sweet stuff right there in the parking lot. Somebody was gonna have to take the hit and do chalk talk, hell I've done it myself once or twice. Still have the scars. I used a bit of blackmail to make WD30 do the deed, and she wasn't too bad. Knew those pictures of her with "man's best friend" would come in handy some day.

We played a quick round of odd/even and rock-paper-scissors to decide on the hare and IKOG was it. He took off and we waited, the laughter was strained as we all knew the risks. The cops were on the lookout and we were their favorite catch. Just Courtney and Just Amy showed up after IKOG took his leave. They knew better and didn't want to risk being bait in our little game. They will get theirs, though.

IKOG is normally like a ghost, when he goes, you may never see any trace of him again. But he was off his game tonight. Either that or those little pills I had put in his drink had finally kicked in. I shorcutted, and saw him laying some kind of flour around the neighborhood. I knew I couldn't handle him myself so I motioned for the pack, going the other way, to join me. I hid behind cars and trees to hide my approach, got within 15 feet of him too when he dropped a boob check. He ran like only a crook with 2 felonies under his belt and a graveyard in his basement could, and I had to stand there waiting for Just Courtney and Just Amy, who were right on my heels, to help me out of a jam. We gave chase and finally caught him. Just Courtney took off with the "goods" and the rest of the pack caught up. Apparently WD30 had been fingered by the cops or had gone underground. Whatever the case, she was gone and no one knew nothin.

We started again, and low and behold, there was Just Courtney crossing the street. Well this isn't this gumshoes first crime scene. I tried to let our merry pack of deviant's know that our prey had been spotted, but Sponge waved everyone on down the real trail. I had no choice but to short cut again and run her down just like "the man" would someday. I think she will learn to keep an eye out now.

Well the "goods" were mine and I made off like a man who knows his days are numbered. Through alleys and house I bolted, only to be spotted by Just Courtney who sold me out to the rest of the pack like a pimp sells a prostitute on payday. I taught her alright, a little too well.

They ran me down at the lake. It would have been pretty if it weren't for the unsavoryness of the group. Just Amy took the "goods" and headed for god-knows-where. Dropping package checks in schools and trying to get us all thrown in the clink. Then her true colors came out. She ran us back to the bar, claiming all along she didn't know where she was. Well even though we had only gone 3 miles or so, we were ready to wash away the foul stink of a long day with a beer or two. In we went, only to find she wasn't there and that we had been double crossed.

Well we knew we couldn't let her get away with it, so out IKOG, Pucker, Sponge an I went to track her down and tuck her in for a dirtnap. This one was wily though and we lost sponge quick as he had a hot little thing waiting at the bar. Pucker and I saw some clues left by IKOG but quickly came to a dead end. The trail dried up like a corpse left it the
Arizona desert. With nowhere else to turn and additional 2 and half miles on our weary feet, we feared the worst and ran back in.

There Just Amy sat like the queen of the castle drinking her beer and telling tales of how she wasn't gonna let us off that easy. The rouges gallery that had collected at Flicka's included deaf and blind hit man Cum Again?, Wrong Number the enforcer, Oral Escort - well you get the picture and Cherry Picker who runs numbers down at Tutor Time. WD30 had
apparently evaded capture and was back as well.

Well, lessons were learned and maybe some of these mugs will stay out of the klink for another day. Me? well I went home with a fine young thing goes by the name Deet Throat. Gotta love a gal who just finished swimming 2000 meters through shark invested water breaking out of the joint and still has time to come by and see old friends.

Oh and as for the murder? Well that will come when we see Dumbo Colonic who no-showed at his favorite place in the world on a hash night. I don't order the hits, I just report em.