Showed up a bit early as Heifer said he would be there, and within minutes "Just Rod" and Dinghy showed up. I had to bail to go get ice, and by the time I got back a few more had wandered in. We moved to a roomier spot in the bar and then Humper's started to file in proper. Lots of virgins, and for a while we had more "Justs" than we had named Hashers! Mount'N Spread brought "Just Ryan", the internet brought "Just Rob" the home brewer (Little Pink calm down!) and "Just Pam" brought "Just Anna". We finally moved outside to do chalk talk and assign a hare.
"Just Rod" drew the dirty straw and Heifer (who was in charge) had him
do chalk talk as well. "Just Rob" chose Can't Cum on Saturday as his co-hare
and they were off. The rest of the pack, discovered cold beer in the back
of my car that was donated by Beat By a Girl from the full moon hash, and
tucked in for a quick one! Heifer also ran a rousing version
of Today is Monday to the amusement of a couple hipsters who arrived
in the middle of the song.
Off we went, running through Scottsdale neighborhoods and businesses.
The trail ran us toward our old watering hole, Flickas, when we finally
snared the hares in a self-serve (and haven't we all serviced ourselves?)
car wash. Bush Straddler was first to see them, but decided she would veer
off and let someone else snare and be hare. Oh that would be Luuuger. So
after I snared them, I picked Bush Straddler to co-hare with me out of
spite! IKOG offered but there was no way I was going to let her get away
with that shite! We continued our little run, veering the pack back west
of Scottsdale Rd. but as we tried tricky trails, we kept getting separated.
With the pack on our heels, Bush laid true and I just scrambled not to
be snared, dropping falses where I could and running completely off trail
as the pack was right behind me. I finally
caught up with Bush who thought I had been snared, only to get separated
again! As we got near the bar, catching up to a group of walkers who decided
to shortcut it back, we got "pulled over" by Scottsdale PD who wanted to
know what we were up to. It appears CCoS had angered a local aging resident
at the beginning by writing a YBF on her wall in an alley! After being
assured our marks would disappear in the next rain, we were released on
our own recognizance and we finished out the run mere feet in front of
the FRBs in the pack, Just Pam, IKOG and others.
Well there was still beer in the back of my car, so in the rarest of
occasions, everyone stayed in the back parking lot of the bar and drank.
It was decided that since we were so overloaded with "Just's" that we should
name a few. "Just Amber' and "Just Pam" were selected as our victims. They
were duly questioned and sent, along with the rest of the
unnamed masses into the bar while we deliberated. We came up with some
great names for both, even having to have a couple votes on "Just Pam".
We ended up with "Shitt Lipps" for "Just Amber" - a play on her hash created
word fecalabia (which got the second most votes). After an executive decision
with the agreement of the crowd by yours truly, we
re-named Just Pam: "Happy Birthday, Fuck You" after she was completely
baffled by the other name we had chosen for her by 1 vote moments before;
"Corn Flake". - you will have to ask her yourself why she got named that,
but be assured she gets punished whenever we sing her "her" song!
We went back into the bar and continued with the merrymaking. We also
christened the Humps first tradition, the Cum n' Go Rag. Basically we have
a towel that has used for several namings and has also made its way across
the country to several hashes. So now it gets signed by all the newly christened
humpers it is used to clean up and destinations it
travels to!
Here's who made it out Wednesday night:
Heiferfearzen
Ima Luuuger (L)
Victor Victoria
Mount'n Spread
"just Ryan"
Allofher Fist
"just Pam" now Happy Birthday Fuck You
Little Dinghy
"just Rod"
"just Rob"
Beat By a Girl
"just Anna"
"just Amber" now Shitt Lipps
Just Liz
Just Josephine
Can't Cum on Saturday
Bush Yakker
Cherry Picker
Bush Straddler
Ikog
Nor-dic
Thanks for cuming and we will see you all next week at 6:45:
Remember! Always bring your G.D. flashlight and whistle!