Ah so

Column A

Column B

Well kids, another great run! Even in the soul numbing 55 degrees of a
Phoenix Winter we still managed to get 20 out to run! Macayo's was
great and until HBFU and I self-snared and led the pack into traffic on
the 202 Freeway, everybody seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves!
Of course it is a credit to you all that we managed to get everyone over
the chain link/razorwire fence from hell without too much blood in true
team fashion. Except for B-Flat that is, who decided to blaze her own
trail!

A moment of silence for those that we lost on trail: Victor Victoria,
Bridgette, Just Anna, Wrong Number and Little Pink Head Cheese No Shit
blah blah blah....You will be missed! (until next week of course!)

****THIS JUST IN!****
A source close to "Allofher Fist" says that she has relinquished her
duties as Head(!)Mistress due to an addiction to Vicadin and anonymous
group sex. Oops, sorry, I read that wrong, those were the things she
hopes to accomplish now that she will have more free time. She will be
missed. Shall we look back on all of the magical moments we have spent
with her at the Hump? (Cue music: "Memories" from Cats!) Nah? OK. Moving
On!

In other news, "Happy Birthday, Fuck You" has been moved into the newly
vacated post of Head(!)Mistress. Lets just hope for her sake and ours
she doesn't screw it up! The decision was made by the highly scientific
method of chugging 2 beers as fast as possible, spinning around 10X, and
then pointing at the person you are most likely to puke on.
Congratulations HBFU! Feel free to make her feel welcome by bitching
about something!

See you next week at the Black Forrest Mill.

On-On

Ima Luuuger (L)
Head(!)Master

This is the Real Hash Trash from 12/12/07. (Please Disregard Luuuger’s mini trash)

The hash once again ignored the frigid 50 degree weather and met at Macayo’s in Tempe. In order to warm up, most of the hash ingested piles of enchiladas, chips, and salsa. The hare was chosen with the spit wad in the bottom of the straw technique. Brown Eye Girl won the prize of the 10 pound flour bag and chose Deet Throat as his co-hare. The hounds chased the hares through an apartment complex which Deet thought had an elevator and nearly rang a doorbell of a random apartment thinking that it was the elevator button. The hounds were close on the trail of the hares, due to the wonderfully marked trail, through Jaycee Park and were forced to jump over walls and eventually through a broken fence on their way to Tempe Town Lake. The hounds were sent off to a check back 8 where I’m a Luuuger and Happy Birthday F*ck You!!! snared the hares. The hash lost Pre-Cum immediately after the CB8 due to an attempted short cut. He was found several minutes later.

The new hares continued past Tempe Town Lake where Pre-Cum found a check back 9 only five marks away from the last check. The confused hash separated, some tried to find trail back towards the lake, others gave up and went back to the bar, still another stood on the check and cried until finding I’m Kind Of Gay who went past the check for a second look. Running towards the spot of the CB9 the hash finally realized that Pre-Cum needed a lesson in check back and a new series called Hooked On Phonics. The CB9 was actually a CB4!! Most of the hounds eventually found the correct trail and followed it over Mill Street Bridge where the trail continued toward the train bridge where the hounds assumed they could cross since it was the only logical choice to get back across the lake. Well the hares had other ideas. Making the hounds cross at W Center Parkway which does not cross Tempe Town Lake and only connects to the frickin highway!!! Not being bitter and never bitching, the hounds snared the hares and thought of a way to get over the razor wire chain link fence to the other side. B-Flat immediately flipped off the hares dropped 32 F-Bombs and took off on her own way back. The remaining hounds/hares combined forces and relied on the greatest display of teamwork ever witnessed in the hash. All of the hashers helped in a shirt covering, lift, separate, and catch over the fence of death. Once everyone was safe, the hash took the most direct route back to Macayo’s (which happened to be Mill St. again) were B-Flat arrived seconds before the search party was about to deploy. Several pena beers were consumed (for $2 each) as well as the best tasting applesauce and feces salsa ever made.

The hashers learned some important lessons on this hash:

1) Learn to read numbers if you are going to witness and call out a check back.

2) If you are going to cross a bridge, make sure there is another bridge to get you back across from whence you came.

3) Bring extra clothing / gloves just in case you need something to help you avoid getting stitches while following trail.

On-On

Brown Eye Girl