Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, Victor Victoria and B Flat hared a Hands Across the Border [Amigo] Hash. Luckily some half-minds do remember it . . .
The pack met in some parking lot, V and B said some shit about trail markings and gimmies on trail and they were off. A whole bunch of shiggy later, the pack was at the first of what would be many water crossings. A BVC was issued as this was a veritable slip-n-slide crossing. Again the pack was back on trail admiring the festive trail markings of confetti.
At one point, the hounds spotted the jackalope that modeled for all those wacky postcards you see in Kansas. Luuuger tried to chase it and some half-minds tried to get a picture, but alas, it will just be yet another exaggerated tale of hashing.
Soon the pack made it to the border where they crossed the Rio Grande
into Mexico to find more shiggy running until they reached the river yet
again. The front of the pack spent considerable time actually in the river,
which at this crossing was particularly rank, trying to figure out where
the check back went as by their calculations put them right in the middle
of the river with no trail indicators in sight. Those of the pack that
stayed back in Mexico waited only to learn when
they finally crossed that in fact there was no check back, just a sign
that said `Welcome to the USA!' Clearly the pack needed beer to continue
to navigate this cerebral trail (where one's reading above a pre-K leve
was being tested).
Luckily beer was in fact near. After summiting V & B's version of a Mayan Ruin for the beer stop, trail then quickly shifted to the barrio. Many offers of marriage, love and sex (but not necessarily in that order) were heard from the locals. The pack also spent considerable time fighting off the many pit bull checks V & B left on trail. Soon the pack came across a fresh peaches stand where harriettes HBFU and Fist stopped to model. When the hounds stopped gawking at their fresh peaches, they looked down to see 'No Beer, Car Gone, FUCK!' on the ground. The pack was understandably confused as this trail mark was not covered during chalk talk.
Undeterred, the pack trudged on through more of the barrio wondering if they would ever get back to Phoenix. At some point it must be mentioned that the FRB IKOG arrived ½ hour after pack away only to catch the pack and challenge BBAG and the visiting FPG to a final 2 mile sprint to finish.
Soon the pack arrived at the on-in where the strange trail mark was explained to mean V's car full of beer had been parked there but was either stolen or towed. After much time on the phone it was ascertained that it was stolen by a tow truck but would cost $200 to get back.
Once V was reunited with his beloved Nissan (perhaps THAT'S where the Rocky Point cops got those Nissan keys they gave to Fall Guy!!); circle commenced to include Dumbo and Little Dinghy vying for DFL and a chance to whack a beer-filled Sponge Bob with a hockey stick. While Dumbo's DFL status was self-explanatory; Dinghy's DFL crime included auto-hashing to the on-in with McDonalds in hand (and not enough to share).
Dumbo proceeded to break V's $155 titanium fiberglass reinforced CCM hockey stick which he has a) failed to offer reimbursement and b) by doing so prevented Victor from having a costume for the Hash de Tucson.
Soon the hash was off to the best on-after food ever – complete with margaritas, shots and authentic south-of-the- border food. After running up the biggest bar tab the restaurant had seen in the last year, the hash was ready to go in peace and to get a piece.
On-to Hash de Tucson-on
Mount 'N Spread