A Drinking Club With A Running Problem
 
Phoenix Hash House Harriers

LBH Haring Guide

Here are the guidelines and a quick planning checklist for LBH haring.

Please review this before you hare, and scout at least a week before.

Do not change any details, such as location, with less than a week’s notice, unless it is an emergency and you speak with the Hare Raiser (.22 Problems/Kiarash Zarezadeh) or General Mismanager (NUBS/Cory Tanner).

The Really Important Stuff:

  • Lost Boobs trails should be:
    • About 3.69 miles long.  If front running bastards do about 4 miles and walkers do about 3.4, that’s a good trail.  If FRBs do 6 miles and walkers do 4, that is not.
    • Friendly to hashers of all levels.  LBH isn’t a stroll in the park, but it is walker friendly.  Trail blazing up a mountain in the dark?  Bad idea.
    • Well marked.  You aren’t trying to get people lost, you’re trying to get them to On-In, so place lots of marks using white chalk or flour.
    • Done in about 2 hours.  If the pack leaves the bar at 7:00, we should get to on-in around 9:00, including 30 minutes for beer neer.  Take pace into account when planning trail (up a mountain is slower than flat ground, so trail should be shorter).
  • Hares are responsible for beer near.  This means you need to have beer and water ( possibly wine) at beer near, along with ice for the beverages and trash bags to clean up.  Coolers for the beverages are a good idea, but trash bags full of ice work too.  Let Mismanagement know if you need a beer angel, we can help.
  • This sh!t isn’t free.  You will be reimbursed for haring expenses (chalk, flour, BN supplies), but that isn’t a blank check.  Mismanagement reserves the right to limit reimbursements to a reasonable level.  Buying 30 packs of PBR for $17 dollars at Total Wine?  You’re fine.  Stopping at Circle K on your way to the hash and spending $27 for the same 30 pack?  Not gonna fly.

 

The Details:

Before:

Buy: Chalk, flour, BN beer/water, Brown Bags (optional)

  • Use white chalk, as colored doesn’t show up well in the dark.  If you are at all running through the desert, alleyways, or it may be raining, make sure you use flour as well.
  • Hares provide ice/water/beer at the beer near.  Buy about one beer per person and around one bottle of water per person depending on the temperature.  If you do not know how many people will be coming, ask mismanagment for a count ahead of time. Plan usually for 30 people, weather permitting.
  • Save receipts! You will be reimbursed for BN beer and water, chalk, flour, and any park permits necessary.  Unless you have arranged otherwise with LBH mismanagment, you will only be reimbursed a maximum of $2 per person based on the the estimated attendance; if you buy a reasonable amount but weather causes attendance to be very low, you’ll still get your money back.  Buying beer at Circle K right before the hash? Bad idea, that shit’s expensive.  Buying 30 packs at Total Wine/Bevmo for $16?  Good idea.

Locations

  • Make sure whatever bar we meet at can hold 100 people comfortably.
  • Starting in a park requires or other outdoor area requires mismanagment approval.
  • Make sure this bar can hold us for on-after as well, so they should be open until at least midnight.
  • Speak to the manager, make sure that they will have enough bar tenders, and can handle a rush of 100 people before/after the run.  Warn them about our chanting “ORGY!”, and make sure they wont be offended.
  • Ask about drink specials.
  • Make sure that we have a good spot for circle, whether it be a park, behind a building, or in a parking lot.  Make sure it is hidden a bit so we are not interrupted, and make sure that we are not bothering neighbors.  People who are trying to sleep or relax will call the cops.
  • If circle is going to be held in a park, plan on getting a permit from the city.  The $15-$25 it costs could save us a lot of hassle.

Scout/plan trail

  • Scout trail beforehand, I suggest mapping it out on mapmyrun.com, then walking it to try to find any hidden little back alleys, holes, tunnels, or whatever else you can use. Then when you hare it live you can lay it a lot more quickly and leave more tricks and treats along the way.
  • True trail must be 3-5 miles total, and finished in about two hours.  We must finishCircle by 9:30 pm.  For special events, mismanagement may have you lay a shorter trail.  If trail starts late, due to rain or whatever, then cut your trail down so that we can swing low in time!
  • Realize that LBH has a ton of walkers, so don’t make trail too tricky for them, and don’t lay a YBF/BB/BN right at the beginning, as it will just mess up the walkers and not the runners.  You want to keep both packs together, so focus on slowing the runners down more.
  • Feel welcome to use Turkey/Eagle splits if you want to get crazy with things or make it longer/more difficult for the runners.
  • Summer here sucks; shorter trails are probably better when it’s a bajillion degrees out.

Coordinate

  • Talk to the bar owner/manager to let them know the number of people they are to expect for the event, and explain what we are to them.  Tell them the time frames we will be there.  This should happen at least a week in advance, with a reminder the day before.
  • Talk with beermeister to see what assistance or support they may need. Notify them of the BN location and circle location ahead of time, ideally a week before, but the day before at the latest.
  • Get the car keys of the beermeister by 6:45 p.m. or at Beer Neer and have them park where circle will be, so that you can start setting up drinks for everyone once you arrive at the end. You are not done haring until you have set up the beer.

Update Facebook

  • No official themes allowed that are sponsored by mismanagement, but feel welcome to encourage people to do this or that to your heart’s content in posts in the fb event.  No themes are allowed in the write up or title of the hash.
  • You will be made an event host for the fb event.  Update the write up with details as to if it is dog/stroller friendly, A-A/A’/B, and update as things change. Keep in mind that anything you put in the official event description will make it’s way to the public PH3 calendar.

Day of:

  • Arrive by 6:15.  Hares are away at 6:45, but make sure you are there early to speak with the bar manager, RAs, and Beermeister.  Hares away is at 6:45pm, no later, no exceptions, but you are welcome to leave early if you’d like.
  • As soon as you arrive, check in with hash cash (Up Splits Creek) with your receipts and get reimbursed.  The LBH # should be written on the top, and a total amount owed helps speed up the process.  Hares do not have to pay hash cash.  You get to sign the book above the line.  If you don’t check in with your receipts when you arrive, there is no promise of reimbursement.
  • If you want to try any new checks or marks that you learned from another hash, or do anything that isn’t common, notify the chalk talker so they can discuss and explain it to the hash during chalk talk.
  • Lead trail.  As a rule of thumb, lay a mark every 10 paces or so.

Note:

  •  You will get some feedback, most likely by the hare raiser since that’s his job, at your Beer Nears, such are “Too many/few checks/marks, pack is spread out, chalk is hard to see, too long, etc.”  Don’t take offense, just think of it like a midterm grade on a report card and use the input to augment your second half as need be.

 

If you have questions or would like phone sex, call me, .22 Problems, at 419-371-8384 and I’ll be there for you.

Congratulations!  You have joined the hallowed and elite ranks of people who actually read all the way to the end of the LBH haring guide!  Carry this as a badge of honor, and redeem with the hareraiser for a free high five!